80th Post

So sorry for the delays in posting anything recently :< Promos and personal life getting in the way. I just realized that I haven't blogged in like a million years so I figured I ought to just update a little. It does seem like forever and I'm right smack in the middle of my promotional exams and I'm half crossing my fingers and half not.

Again, my dilemma about JC versus every single other type of eduction system- I'm afraid it's not left my mind, and I don't think it's planning to.

I can't say I regret going to JC, owing to the people I've met and the stuff I felt I've achieved, like mugging like some stupid madwoman or cramming 4 books worth of content into my head. It's so impossible it's entirely surreal, alas it's the reality of the situation. And it's a very funny situation. I find myself half holding my breath to pass my promotional exams and move on to next year, or fail miserably because of a subject or two and be given my option.

My parents have cleared the way for me to possibly go overseas.

Of course, much like everything else I do, I feel that it's just not me? As in it's not something I want to put my parents through, because I feel it's a financial burden for them. Failure to me would also be crushing for various reasons, something to do with my head not liking it when I mess up some major milestone in life. It's ego getting in the way of leaving my fate in a larger entity. I don't know, maybe I ought to put faith into the great unknown and cast away stress, but for some reason it's perhaps pride that eats me the hardest.

As to why I feel that this larger entity is suddenly appearing in my life, I'd call it various signs. First of all, I end up with this huge gash on my leg that finally decided to shut up and sit down a couple of weeks back, finally not swelling and being rudely picked off my leg (sorry scabs). Then, I get the worst double whammy of cramps I've had in the last 2 years, nearly having to roll my way to hospital and having the poor office staff in my school go into a panic. This is followed by 3 days of staying at home nursing cramps that refuse to leave. During the one week break, I have fever and inflamed tonsils, and I fly into a panic. No time to study for promos and far too little energy to try.

Then? MIGRANES. From what? Too much stress! I didn't even know it was possible until my doctor kindly enlightened me that my muscles were attempting to kill me by freezing up neck back and shoulders. Had to get my body sorted out. Then when everything finally seems peachy, stomach flu that results in a trip to East Shore Hospital and violent vomiting that causes me to pass out. What a joy. And sorry, everyone, for the graphic description of my agony. It's been a mad week, I missed my GP paper and now have to sit for a supplementary, and then yada yada yada continuous suffering into finally getting away from Economics and Geography.

And also till yesterday I was on a major minecraft binge but I'm afraid my experience got spoiled by a friend, who's mysteriously angry with me for god knows what. That being said, I'm staying away from the game for the time being, unless I decide to engage in an hour long PVP warfare game again which was amazing (Thank you BrN for introducing me to the server, I forsee myself doing a lot of damage.) Many thanks to Lya who had me over and MJ for the two days and having fun and studying (rather uselessly) and spending more time best-friending. Had an amazing meet up with the drama girls to wish my old drama teacher farewell, and I miss you already Mr F. (enjoy the UK!) Im busy being nostalgic of the one time I went. I fell in love with the country side and Costa Coffee, so imagine my joy when they opened up Costa here ;w;

Other than that as well, thanks to R for studying with me constantly and pulling me through geog and giving me enough confidence to even walk into the examination for Econs. What a nightmare, these 2 h2's have been for the last month or so. So damn content heavy, but again nothing compared to those who take like HGEB (HEAVY CONTENT MAX). Settled down at Melinnia (Im so sorry I can't spell that goddamnit) to study lit today with R again and saw her cringe and wail at coffee. But we also had intensely crazy sweet soda after because all we did today was absorb fat+sugar. And occasional spurts of Literature.

I can't wait for exams to end and Meet Lancelot, who is as desperate for a hug as I am for one from one of the people I absolutely love the most.

Stay safe guys!

xoxo

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