Thinking

Of recent I spend most of my time feeling sick, crummy, pained and miserable.

I force my hand to hightlighter and tell myself to open my mind to a bit moren information, just a little bit more, because I need to know this for the exam and its not going to kill me and it's going to be okay, that I can hang on just a little bit longer and it will be over.

It doesn't want to end, and my vision is starting to blur and the sound becomes static.
I am exhausted, on the brink of losing my mind.
And I force my hand to the page and I continue the process of highlighting and studying.
I am agitated, tired, and in pain. In so much nonsensical pain, I would rather stop breathing.

I take in a breath and the tears threaten me, there is no escape from this certain hell.
I would rather be dead than have to take these exams.
Would sell my soul to have gone overseas, where the grass may not be greener but I would not be subject to Satan's negativity and the cramming of sheer acidity in word down my throat. I am in agony. I am in pain.

For the last time, someone, anyone, save me.