Way over my Head
I've finally pulled myself out of the deep end. The ending of my GSCE 'A' Levels was like dragging myself out of deep water and a tiring, long swim.
Admittedly the exhilaration I thought I would experience did not come to me at all, it was much less like the feeling of liberation I had after my 'O' levels were completed (coincidentally, that marked the start of this blog, which I am glad has stayed mostly alive.) So where did I go for the last few days, considering my A's ended almost a week back?
The timing also just coincided with my grandparents 51st Anniversary. As you guys can imagine, if you've read far enough, my Grandfather has Cancer. I've been spending as much time as I can with him especially on weekday evenings and on Sundays because other than that my time was devoted to studying.
For the curious, my grandfather has Stage 4 Cancer in a very odd location- according to what I can gather from the limited my parents are willing to tell me, there is some immune system thing you have as a child that protects the lungs and heart that gradually disappears as you grow older. My gramps however- well his body didn't get rid of it, and it became the source for the tumor. His Health has been so impeccable for all his life that it never made itself apparent, like, ever- this is a man who takes his blood pressure every day, goes for checks every year and was given a clean bill of health each time. We all feel it's pretty unfair, but what he had done was stave off the cancer for so long he managed to take care of me for so many years. And I guess it makes it a little easier knowing he's fought against it long and hard, and is continuing to fight. He'll be going on a major operation on Sunday to hopefully remove 90% of the tumor. It'll give him more time- rather, it'll give me more time, too.
I got to spend good time with him at MBS over the weekend, went to the sports hub with him earlier this week as well and got him a super pretty EMT cap- you know the one with the blue and the twisty snake thing for a logo- hopefully you get the picture. Sometimes it's so hard to watch him go through the paces of Chemotherapy (he's too old for Radiotherapy) and making tough decisions on big surgeries and stuff, but our surgeon and doctors are giving him a good fighting chance, and as far as all of us are concerned we want to give him that chance to keep going. He's such a huge part of my life, I wouldn't know what to do if I couldn't hear him crack jokes with me anymore or purposely act like he was extra slow or super hunched over. It always made me laugh. It still does. And I'm not prepared to see it end yet.
EMOTIONAL STUFF ASIDE
Someone very lovely brought me to the Mr. Bean cafe at Marina Square recently and did so because they saw a rainbow crepe thing and decided that I HAD TO TRY IT or it wasn't human and although it was the teeniest slice of cake ever I acknowledge that this cake is not exactly easy to make (if you did it from scratch by hand) and it was light and lovely. We also had a mango frosty and really if you have the chance go big on the ice cream. The ice cream was really really good, especially the black sesame one that was totally delicious! :D The chewy brownie was good too but of recent I've lost my love for chocolate- don't ask me why, I'm certain I used to enjoy chocolate but now I'm starting to become like my mom where the good chocolate is the dark rich stuff not the creamy sweet stuff (I blame the time I decided to it 70% Dark chocolate, two whole bars of it- I think it revolutionised the way I look at chocolate.)
In other news that's my current knitting project- I pick up a ball of yarn and if it appeals to me- well this happens. That I start knitting for no apparent reason although I don't even know how to continue with the second ball of yarn?! So Oh well I'll find out when I get there. The next few days are going to be interesting, because of Friday I am making my trip to Fukuoka (!!!) with my friends (!!!!!) and I'm super excited to go because I can't wait to try Ichiran Ramen in Tenjin and go shopping and go to the beach and generally be stuck with one of my Best Friends for 7 days together. I'm looking forward to coming back though, because I can see my grandfather again.
How has everyone been doing? Whatever the case is, I hope life has been treating all of you well. :)
xoxo
Admittedly the exhilaration I thought I would experience did not come to me at all, it was much less like the feeling of liberation I had after my 'O' levels were completed (coincidentally, that marked the start of this blog, which I am glad has stayed mostly alive.) So where did I go for the last few days, considering my A's ended almost a week back?
It's exactly what it looks like. My super thoughtful Grandparents and Aunt booked two rooms at Marina Bay Sands, which is only like my favourite place to chill out and study for not particular reason- I finally got to go up to the infinity pool BUT COULD NOT SWIM (Guess why, go on, just guess the reason for my misery) so I ended up sitting around and getting blissfully tan (rather, sunburnt). On hindsight, what I was wearing was not ideal- my tan ended up isolated to my shoulders and a small part of my back. So when I run my hands over my shoulder, it's fairly painful.
For the curious, my grandfather has Stage 4 Cancer in a very odd location- according to what I can gather from the limited my parents are willing to tell me, there is some immune system thing you have as a child that protects the lungs and heart that gradually disappears as you grow older. My gramps however- well his body didn't get rid of it, and it became the source for the tumor. His Health has been so impeccable for all his life that it never made itself apparent, like, ever- this is a man who takes his blood pressure every day, goes for checks every year and was given a clean bill of health each time. We all feel it's pretty unfair, but what he had done was stave off the cancer for so long he managed to take care of me for so many years. And I guess it makes it a little easier knowing he's fought against it long and hard, and is continuing to fight. He'll be going on a major operation on Sunday to hopefully remove 90% of the tumor. It'll give him more time- rather, it'll give me more time, too.
I got to spend good time with him at MBS over the weekend, went to the sports hub with him earlier this week as well and got him a super pretty EMT cap- you know the one with the blue and the twisty snake thing for a logo- hopefully you get the picture. Sometimes it's so hard to watch him go through the paces of Chemotherapy (he's too old for Radiotherapy) and making tough decisions on big surgeries and stuff, but our surgeon and doctors are giving him a good fighting chance, and as far as all of us are concerned we want to give him that chance to keep going. He's such a huge part of my life, I wouldn't know what to do if I couldn't hear him crack jokes with me anymore or purposely act like he was extra slow or super hunched over. It always made me laugh. It still does. And I'm not prepared to see it end yet.
EMOTIONAL STUFF ASIDE
Someone very lovely brought me to the Mr. Bean cafe at Marina Square recently and did so because they saw a rainbow crepe thing and decided that I HAD TO TRY IT or it wasn't human and although it was the teeniest slice of cake ever I acknowledge that this cake is not exactly easy to make (if you did it from scratch by hand) and it was light and lovely. We also had a mango frosty and really if you have the chance go big on the ice cream. The ice cream was really really good, especially the black sesame one that was totally delicious! :D The chewy brownie was good too but of recent I've lost my love for chocolate- don't ask me why, I'm certain I used to enjoy chocolate but now I'm starting to become like my mom where the good chocolate is the dark rich stuff not the creamy sweet stuff (I blame the time I decided to it 70% Dark chocolate, two whole bars of it- I think it revolutionised the way I look at chocolate.)In other news that's my current knitting project- I pick up a ball of yarn and if it appeals to me- well this happens. That I start knitting for no apparent reason although I don't even know how to continue with the second ball of yarn?! So Oh well I'll find out when I get there. The next few days are going to be interesting, because of Friday I am making my trip to Fukuoka (!!!) with my friends (!!!!!) and I'm super excited to go because I can't wait to try Ichiran Ramen in Tenjin and go shopping and go to the beach and generally be stuck with one of my Best Friends for 7 days together. I'm looking forward to coming back though, because I can see my grandfather again.
How has everyone been doing? Whatever the case is, I hope life has been treating all of you well. :)
xoxo
Comments
Post a Comment