Breathing Easy.
Periods of change are naturally the most turbulent.
Realizing that you have a roof over your head in the midst of the storm
Makes waiting for the sunshine that much easier.
I haven't written in such a long time that I'm sincerely disappointed in myself. I should, really, spend more time writing and noting down my petty thoughts (how perfectly narcissistic, I realize- but I have a good reason.) Noting down these thoughts it seems, has allowed me to better understand my growth (or a lack thereof) as a person. Perhaps I am not yet mature enough to understand my own revelations, if any, or to praise upon my own changes, but at least it helps me keep track of my own thoughts.
I realized, going back to diaries that should never be let out into the sunshine (written at the tender age of 8), that I was an incredibly angry child. I always had something against someone, and if I hadn't met the right people on my journey into a better understanding of the self, I would probably have a small black book I carried in my pocket that I would viciously refer to when I was angry with someone, to write down more of their faults. While it sounds like an exaggeration, my younger self's writing tends to suggest otherwise. Plainly put I was one hell of an evil, angry person. And maybe I still am. But I'm making excellent progress!
I fell down the stairs on the bus (while trying to climb UP) and the entirety of my right shin collided and slid along the metal part of the step. I mumbled "It's Alright! It happens." and I moved along.
Immediately after I sat down I noticed a distinct lack of swear words and yelping. So I suppose, improvement.
Either way I digress- writing should be more a part of my daily life simply because it's entirely cathartic to write as much as I used to (daily, at every pocket of spare time, during lessons so dry my world was reduced to a desert and writing was a drop of water in that parched landscape). And it's good to look back, and giggle, and tell yourself about all the things you've done, and may or may not want to be proud of.
I got my A level results back, which was really nerve-wrecking because I was terrified of finding out what I had scored. I asked Lancelot (my darling husband) (you would only truly understand why he is my husband if you know me well enough) (and you would also know we are deeply infatuated with each other) (usually in trying to annoy each other to death) to come with me and of course the darling obliges so I don't have to be chewing my nails out alone. I scored decently. It's enough for me to get into the faculty of my choice, and that's always a good thing. I've had a thing or two come back to me already with further details, so I'm really feeling very comfortable now. Well I shouldn't, honestly- but yes I am feeling significantly more comfortable than I used to.
I'm going to kill my post here, because I have to meet with a friend in 45 minutes. She's a real good-vibe person, and she's one of the better things that came out of my time in JC and additionally my time in council.
Also, I can't even get my posts up for the first Japan trip that I made last year, and am now in the process of planning another trip (because again, it's like Japan is my child and I want to keep going back to it.) (I think this would make trip number 5???) (and I really wanna go see my friend まこと who's there doing voice actor training) (cool beans man)
xx
Realizing that you have a roof over your head in the midst of the storm
Makes waiting for the sunshine that much easier.
I haven't written in such a long time that I'm sincerely disappointed in myself. I should, really, spend more time writing and noting down my petty thoughts (how perfectly narcissistic, I realize- but I have a good reason.) Noting down these thoughts it seems, has allowed me to better understand my growth (or a lack thereof) as a person. Perhaps I am not yet mature enough to understand my own revelations, if any, or to praise upon my own changes, but at least it helps me keep track of my own thoughts.
I realized, going back to diaries that should never be let out into the sunshine (written at the tender age of 8), that I was an incredibly angry child. I always had something against someone, and if I hadn't met the right people on my journey into a better understanding of the self, I would probably have a small black book I carried in my pocket that I would viciously refer to when I was angry with someone, to write down more of their faults. While it sounds like an exaggeration, my younger self's writing tends to suggest otherwise. Plainly put I was one hell of an evil, angry person. And maybe I still am. But I'm making excellent progress!
I fell down the stairs on the bus (while trying to climb UP) and the entirety of my right shin collided and slid along the metal part of the step. I mumbled "It's Alright! It happens." and I moved along.
Immediately after I sat down I noticed a distinct lack of swear words and yelping. So I suppose, improvement.
Either way I digress- writing should be more a part of my daily life simply because it's entirely cathartic to write as much as I used to (daily, at every pocket of spare time, during lessons so dry my world was reduced to a desert and writing was a drop of water in that parched landscape). And it's good to look back, and giggle, and tell yourself about all the things you've done, and may or may not want to be proud of.
I got my A level results back, which was really nerve-wrecking because I was terrified of finding out what I had scored. I asked Lancelot (my darling husband) (you would only truly understand why he is my husband if you know me well enough) (and you would also know we are deeply infatuated with each other) (usually in trying to annoy each other to death) to come with me and of course the darling obliges so I don't have to be chewing my nails out alone. I scored decently. It's enough for me to get into the faculty of my choice, and that's always a good thing. I've had a thing or two come back to me already with further details, so I'm really feeling very comfortable now. Well I shouldn't, honestly- but yes I am feeling significantly more comfortable than I used to.
I'm going to kill my post here, because I have to meet with a friend in 45 minutes. She's a real good-vibe person, and she's one of the better things that came out of my time in JC and additionally my time in council.
Also, I can't even get my posts up for the first Japan trip that I made last year, and am now in the process of planning another trip (because again, it's like Japan is my child and I want to keep going back to it.) (I think this would make trip number 5???) (and I really wanna go see my friend まこと who's there doing voice actor training) (cool beans man)
xx
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